WET NUNS

The Croft, Bristol | March 3rd

Every once in a while you want a band to come along and kick some ass. Sometimes you hear a band through a medium that wasn’t really meant to carry music, like YouTube, and it just doesn’t turn you on. Very occasionally, you will hear virtually everyone you respect talk about that band you heard/saw on YouTube doing the whole ass kicking thing. It might just make you drag yourself out of bed and think “maybe I’m missing something here.”

In the haze of a room that smelt strongly of heavy metal and mustard, two young men from Sheffield mount a stage and show us exactly what it is that’s missing. Crack stands in slack jawed reverence as we spend the next 45 minutes learning more about American redneck culture than we’d ever learnt from the yanks themselves. Wet Nuns have no intentions other than to make you feel dirty, used and washed out. They breeze through a set made up of seriously chuggy new tunes, most of which feel like a hard blow to the stomach from a very angry, slightly stoned Texan cowboy. They casually destroy the half baked heckles of one crowd member who has obviously had one too many shandies with immaculate comic timing. As if it’s not enough to dowse the entire audience with an acid filled super soaker of sludgy swamp rock, they end with the brilliantly paced double whammy of supreme face melters Throttle and Heavens Below, stunning even the most hardy of hipster idiots into oblique silence.

We’re pretty sure this is the point where everyone collectively imagined their scrumpy had been turned to bourbon and the entire room had become some kind of wet t-shirt free for all. People started moving, liquids escaped their containers and, in so many words, shit went down. We saw Wet Nuns tonight. What did we think before we’d spilled our pints all over ourselves and fallen in love with the charismatic circus of gumption that is Wet Nuns? Frankly, that’s completely irrelevant. Sheffield’s finest kicked so much of that proverbial ass it’s actually hard to sit down.

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Words: Billy Black

wetnuns.com